My life has never been better!!

there have been a lot of people walking in and out of my life, i've had best friends, good friend, close friends, friends that could do anything for me, friends that i could do anything for. when a friendship ended everytime, i couldn't help but to wonder where did it go wrong, people that i have thought a world of, turned out that he/she was just another mistake i made in building my friendship with, along the way, i found out people were only kind to me because they admired me in some ways, but i dun think i've ever found anybody who loves me because they really know me and understand me. of course, it goes two way in friendship and relationship, come to think about it now, i dun think i could ever have done 1% of what some have done to me and for me, looking at the friendship that we've had. Somebody told me before that i trust easily and people take me for granted, that i should be a bit kinder to myself, this is not true at all,i dun trust easily at all, in fact, of all the people i've known, i barely trusted a few, let alone all. everybody's been hurt before, after being hurt, people tend to build a highly defensive wall around themselves, segregating them from the possible outer threat and thus, sometimes, even from the people they love.
Loneliness is unbearable, people have made a lot of stupid mistakes because of it, the way i see it, it is like a timed bomb, sitting itself securely all over you, when the time comes, when the clock starts ticking, you feel lost and helpless, you feel that something has drained all your strength within, something has demolished the wisdom u've had for years, for just that brief moment, nothing seems to matter anymore, not even yourself. Love is not the reason people act absurdly, but love brings loneliness, and loneliness causes troubles. Of course, not everybody deals with it this way, but no doubt, everybody has been defeated by loneliness in one way or another. I am staying very focused now, because i do not wish to make any mistake by acting my loneliness out, and regret my action later, when you feel lonely, the one and only cure that will come to your mind is to get a companionship, from anyone within your grasp and that includes the person you love, this is not going to happen anymore, because no matter how bright and colourful the firework might seem, it will never last for long, the sparks are just too brief for anybody to hold on to.
i'm not feeling well today, just not feeling well. I am still collecting the pieces of my life from everywhere and trying to piece them in one, the puzzle of life might never be completed, but at least i learn and love along the way.