to love or not to love

After so long..i am opening this shit again, i wonder why couldn't i blog when i was happy, at least then i could have captured the moment when i felt love, joy and happiness, right now, my feeling is nowhere near there. It is too damn difficult to be what you are not, I've been someone that i am not and i am tired of it. Wai Ling can never be someone who's constantly jealous, constantly worried about small things, where was the Wai Ling i used to know? the one who did not care much about anything, living her life as it was, where's she??? she has lost everything, her soul, her dignity, her pride, her honour, her humour, and her sensibility, all because of feelings...thank god i still have some friends who really care...i feel that i've reached the lowest point of my life, where nothing could be achieved, i wish to let love go right now, i wish to just forget about everything and start a new life, but can i? have i gotten too deep? I am so damn confused I dun even know what i'm doing...to love, or not to love? that's the question of all time...whatever it is, let god decide, i believe there's a light in all our hearts, and one day we shall learn to follow this light and be where we are supposed to be